Read With Me!

Summary

Gwen Turner is struggling. She’s been swiping through dating profiles after a bad breakup and she’s pretty sure her life can’t get any worse. But we all know not to test the lord that way or he’ll test you because people she’s previously went on dates with are popping up dead – and she’s the main suspect. So, yes. Her life sucks.

Review – No spoilers

2 – Well below Average

Here me out – I’ve read a lot of books similar to this one that I have loved. Finlay Donovan is the one that comes to my mind the most, but there’s something about this one that can’t sit right with me. With Finlay, it’s over the top and ridiculous how Finlay gets herself into weird and shitty situations. She makes bad decisions all the time, but it’s balanced well by her friendships and that she’s trying hard to be a good person. She’s spurred on by her desire to protect and morbid curiosity at times. With this, Gwen is just dumb. She’s a horrible person who cheated on her boyfriend after falling out of love with him – basically doing the same thing to Noah that Aubrey’s wife had done to him.

She’s horrible to her best friend, always going on and on about how Sarah is always there for her, yet never really showing a single way that she’s there for Sarah. She’s just a manic pixie dream girl – which is even said in the book and it just came across as cringey. The plot was predictable – I called it by 50% of the book. But that isn’t to say that it’s well set up either.

I can see people like this. It can be a fun and quick read, absolutely. And I’m also well aware that my general dislike of the main character definitely led to me not enjoying the book as much. That being said, I will admit that I read the book in one afternoon, stopping every 25% to update the read with me. It was easy to read, absolutely.

Read With Me – Spoilers

25% In

We started the book with Gwen at her friend/roommate’s (Sarah) bachelorette party. Gwen is not having a blast and finds herself scrolling through the dating app she’s been using since a big breakup with her long-term boyfriend, Noah. She’s hiding in the bathroom to swipe through the app some more, I guess cause the party sucks and Sarah invited her fiancé, Richard, who Gwen is not the biggest fan of. He’s just awkward a boring – but I think Gwen is kind of awkward and boring too so far so maybe it’s just that she feels there can only be one of them? Anyway, Sarah doesn’t want Gwen swiping through Connector during her party – rightfully so might I add – and convinces her to come back. Little does she know, Gwen’s already connected with someone named Parker, who she’s trying to meet up with. Parker says no, sending her a report of a dead body found the day before. First of all, kind of weird to do that, but okay. Secondly, it was a guy Gwen went a date with a week ago. Oops. So she’s freaking out, wondering if she needs to call the police. She tells Sarah and Richard about the date with the guy, whose name was Rob. Now, Rob’s date was not a good one. He was drinking too much, talked about himself 90% of the time, and then ended up crying over his ex. He tried to cop a feel of her ass too. Then, when Gwen got the on train to leave, started crying again, waving his phone around, yelling about how he has so many other options. Like, okay? Go do that then, my guy.

Gwen continues to party with Sarah, trying to not think about the dead guy she had went on a date with a week ago. The cops have a different ida in mind, though,, because they show up to her house in the morning while she is morbidly hung over. Turns out, Rob didn’t die two days ago. He died the day after their date and had gone home very upset over their failed outing together. So she’s gotta give an alibi and she’s like, done. I was on another date with a guy named Freddie. And the cops are like, oh. How what a coincidence, Freddie was also found dead. So we have to verify your alibi for both guys and also, tell us about the date with Freddie. – Freddie was another failed date. Gwen thought she was going out with a hands and fun guy. Instead, she got a conservative old man who was kind of balding and even wanted to order her food for her? He got upset when she didn’t want to wear his jacket and started counting down Fromm 3 out of the blue. She didn’t realize it, but he was counting down to kissing her and then did it. Then begged her for a second date, which he’s been struggling to get for some weird reason. He tried begging her to call or text him back. His last text said, please talk to me. It’s life or death. Whomp, whomp.

The cops are immediately like, did you not think that was weird? But, honestly, what girl hasn’t gotten a text like that at some point? I probably wouldn’t think much of it either. So she cleans up and heads into work, where she sees her one and only employee, Charlie. Gwen is now the owner of a van that serves snacks and coffee – not because she particularly cares about either, but it was Noah’s dream that she’s been left with after the breakup. Charlie can tell somethings up. Gwen hasn’t been giving him any information about her night before and she always gossips with him about her failed dates. She caves and tells him and he is a typical guy and does not help the situation at all. Gwen gets another message from the guy last night, Parker, that just says ‘2 down.’ What the hell does that mean? So she asks him. And he saves his ass by saying he’s got two strike: one for standing her up and one for sending the link to the news article. He wants to make up for it, though. She isn’t feeling it.

One of the cops was a guy she used to goi to school with. His name is Aubrey Lyons – she called him Dandy Lyons – and he called to tell her of a development in. the case and asked if she could come into the station. She sends him her location and jots down a list of guys she’s went on a date with in the last two weeks. Rob, Freddie, Josh, Dev, and Seb. There’s one more, but she refuses to add him. She doesn’t ever want to talk about him again. Gwen has a lot of mystique around her – we don’t know why her and Noah broke up. She says it was amicable, but it clearly wasn’t and she isn’t even telling Sarah why. Something particularly bad happened on her date with Josh that she refuses to talk about and now we don’t know who this mysterious 3rd guy is, but its fine. I don’t really find myself being curious about these. I’m just quickly reading through and having a moderately good time. Pretty sure she’s going to have a romance with either the detective or Charlie – my money’s currently on the detective even though he’s just casually mentioned having a wife. I’m betting they’re going through a separation or something, but I could be wrong. I’m no gambler.

So Detective Lyons takes her napkin of names after some banter, with her making bad jokes and him not laughing at a single one. He does tell her that a napkin of names isn’t much to go off of and the ‘development’ was that the case didn’t have anything to do with her (as of now) and the guys both had pretty hefty deposits into cryptocurrency. Current running theory is that they were involved in drugs of some kind and it went bad. Still, she wants him to make sure Josh and the others are fine – which he agrees to but she doesn’t like his lack of enthusiasm or how low-priority it seems to be for him. As soon as he leaves, Parker messages her again: Ready for strike 3? So Gwen decides she’s going to make sure the guys on her list are okay herself.

50% In

Gwen decies that the best way to figure out if Josh is okay is by going to the place that they met up for their date, which was a golf course. The person at the front desk doesn’t want to let her see Josh’s information and vaguely remembers that dumbster fire of a date. Gwen makes a bet: if she can get a whole in one on this alligator course that no one ever gets a whole in one on, she can see Josh’s info. She tries once – nothing. It got stopped by something. She tries again – nope. She she goes to try and pull out whatever is blocking the ball and it’s a human hand. Josh’s human hand.

Naturally, the police show upand Aubrey and his partner, whose a total shithead, want her to explain a little more about her invovlement with Josh. She’s been telling them that she got along with Josh fine, he just wasn’t the one. Spoilers, it wasn’t ‘fine.’ The detectives show her the messages between her and Josh after the date, with Josh calling her a crazy bitch and saying she broke his hand. And the detectives rightfully want her to go to the station and explain herself a bit.

So she explains her terrible date with Josh. Was got there before her, didn’t take the time to get dressed well, chose the place specifically because it was easier and closer for him, only talked about himself, and explained in length about how immigrants should not be allowed in the country and called Gwen a spoiled bitch who thinks she’s better than him and has too many opinions. Then, he grabbed her wrist and told her she was making a scene, so she swung her gold thing at him and marched on – apparently breaking his wrist. After talking about that horrible experience, the poilce tell her she’s a person of interest. She tries to tell them about Parker, but Aubrey’s partner thinks he’s just another internet weirdo. Gwen insists she isn’t killing these men and that her ex, Noah, wouldn’t have done it. He probably doesn’t een care that she’s dating again. She’s not allowed to leave the area and heads home, running into Sarah. Sarah’s going on a pre-wedding trip with her mother and reminds Gwen once agian that she’s moving out after. her wedding. Gwen doesn’t want to tell Sarah what’s going on and its at this point that I’m making two guess (don’t make fun of me if I’m wrong). 1. I think it’s either Sarah or her fiance Richard committing the murders. Sarah’s motice would be to protect her best friend, because that’s the role that she’s played for so long. Not fully sure what Richard’s would be, but that leads to my second guess. The last date Gwen’s gone on was either with Noah (the ex), or Richard. Whomp, whomp.

So, Gwen notices Aubrey outside, staking her out, and confronts him. He comes in and talks to her, says he’s not married anymore. They talk and flirt and are for sure gonna end up together. He starts talking about the next guy, Dev, since he’s prbably next on the killer’s list. Gwen tells him about her date with Dev, which was actually really nice. They went bowling, which she doesn’t enjoy, but he was attractive and flirty and she definitely wanted to take him home, but Sarah was there hanigng out on the couch with Richard – the most exciting thing those two got up to these days. So they decide to go to Dev’s, cause his roommate is out. And they’re getting hot and heavy in the cab, until Dev gets two calls and a text on his phone that makes all the color on his face drain.

It wasn’t surprising that Aubrey gets a call from his partner when Gwen is done telling her story and is informed that Dev hasn’t been seen all afernoon – information they learned from Dev’s very pregnant wife. Aubrey leaves to go work on the case some more with his partner and Gwen, being incredibly nosey, goes to Dev’s wifes. She wants to know if Parker had made himself known to the wife or soemthing like that. The wife didn’t know Parker, but did inform Gwen that Dev came back with a pair of bowling shoes last time he went out all afternoon with a coworker. Of course, it makes sense. Dev hadn’t gone out with a coworker, he went out on a date. He’d even admitted that he took all his dates bowling. So that’s where Gwen goes and where she finds Dev tied up in the bathroom and he does not look happy to see her. He’s got a picture of his baby’s sonogram taped to his chest and is panicked, asking Gwen if she’s going to kill him just because he’s having a baby.

Then, dun dun dun, Parker shows up. He’s wearing a face mask and strangely kisses Gwen on the cheek. Then grabs a knife and holds it to De’vs throat, breaking the skin. He starts texting Gwen back and forth using the Connector app – my guess is cause it’s Sarah or Richard and they don’t want Gwen to notice their voice. Anyway, they’re arguing about whether or not Dev’s wife deserve that piece of shit as a husband. And Gwen is try to sneak closer to them, but Parker notices and tells her not to move another step or he’ll slash Dev’s throat. Gwen sends Parker a picture to try and surprise and its, very dumbly, kind of works long enough for Gwen to put pressure on Dev’s wound and Parker is able to sneak out of the bathroom window. Then Aubrey shows up and this does not look great for Gwen. We all know Dev is going to think that Gwen did this and is going to likely tell the cops about that. I think this scene was kind of silly and I had to suspend a bit of disbelief for that. Also, I forgot to mention that Charlie had told Gwen that Sarah actually met Richard through the connector app, despite how often she talks about the app being terrible and the fact that she repeatedly says she met Richard ‘the old fashioned way.’ I’m just saying the two of them are fishy.

75% In

I was correct. De only ever saw Gwen in the abthroom, But, lucky for her, Aubrey doesn’t think she’s the one doing anything. Gwen looks up Parker’s name and finds out that he’s going by his last name; it’s actually Collin Parker, which is incredibly dumb. And because Gwen is not like other girls and is very manic pixie dream girl, she decides to go to this random man’s work, interrupt everything, and accuse him of being a serial killer. He’s about 12 years older than what the profile would suggest and Gwen realizes she’s been catfished.

Aubrey picks her up and decides that he thinks dear old Charlie is actually the killer, which Gwen very much so disagrees with – me too, girlie. The duo go to get information about hacking into the app from Gwen’s one and only customer who has been using her free wifi for nefarious reasons (hacking into things with her IP address). He educated the two dummies about Connector’s algorithm and points-based system and also learns that Parker’s one and only match has ever been Gwen. He had set up his preferences to be within a .5 mile radius. I have never been more convinced it’s Sarah. Aubrey interrogates Charlie and learns that Charlie has been messing with the dating app’s algorithm to help them get more dates and it does look like he’s specifically set them up with Gwen. Right before Charlie stormed off, he had gotten a text from the last date standing, Seb, to meet at the Eye so that Sb could pay him. Because not only has Charlie been setting these people’s profiles up for success, he’s also been blackmailing them into giving him money.

Seb’s date was as bad as the rest. He wasn’t rude or anything, just overly gentlemanly and trying too hard to ‘be an ally’ despite never really giving Gwen enough time to speak herself. He puts on a show of being a nice guy and tries to convince her to open up to him – pretty forcefully may I add. He answered a phone call on the date and even opened up the Connector app. Gwen eventually decides that she thinks Seb is Parker and I’m getting pretty irritable towards her manic pixie dream girl-ing her way through this entire thing. It’s quite annoying and she doesn’t really seem to have a ton of depth to me. I see the vision. She’s hurt and scared and hides behind bad jokes. But it feels like I’m being told that more than I’m able to see that.

Gwen races to the Eye and finds Charlie, Aubrey, and Deb’s dead body. So she was wrong like we all knew she would be. However, Charlie is arrested and it is assumed that everything is going to be a-okay. Spoiler alert: we’re only at 70% and we all know it’s not done. But, Gwen and Aubrey are this time to go through their personal issues. Aubrey’s wife cheated on him because he couldn’t give her what she wanted out of life and then left him. Gwen broke up with Noah because she wanted to settle down in life and he wanted to go off and explore, going so far as to convince her to leave her job for his dream of traveling the world, despite how he never put in his notice, which is also how she ended up with the van instead of him. And then the two \have sex in Aubrey’s office after drinking with one another. And all of this could’ve been more interesting if the characters were more interesting and felt more real.

Completed

Gwen wakes up in Aubrey’s office to the sound of his phone going off. It’s a connector match, which is weird for a guy who claimed to have known nothing about the app 3 days ago. But, to be fair, grabbing a guy’s phone that you just slept with the night before and suddenly not trusting him when he has a genuine reason for everything you’re accusing him of is kind of irritating. I’ve seen the cop being the bad guy the whole time done right and this would not have been done right – and the fact that she was wrong just made it even more irritating because this woman has not been right a single time this entire book.

Let’s talk about what really happened. My two guesses were right. Gwen’s last date was with Richard when the two of them got shitfaced and Sarah is the culprit; she’s pissed that her bff slept with her fiancé. Honestly, rightfully so. She’d found out what happened with Gwen and Richard and started this whole thing to both kill Richard and frame Gwen as a serial killer. It ends with Gwen realizing that she’s been a shit friend and has never been good one to Sarah the entire time they’ve know one another – but Sarah’s also really fucking clingy to be fair. So, she tries to be a ‘good friend’ for the first time ever and let Sarah get a head start from the cops. And then get’s to live (maybe) happily ever after with Aubrey. The end.